Showing posts with label poetry. Show all posts
Showing posts with label poetry. Show all posts

Monday, April 13, 2020

I Ask Myself How Is It I Am Loved

I ask myself, how is it I have come,
Still so far from the sunset of my days,
(I pray tis not yet sunset on my days)
Unto some chamber in the maze of life
Where it is possible to hear you say
'I miss you' and 'I feel your absence in
The times when just to have you close nearby
Would bring me rest from grieving.' (Sunset knows
How much indeed I need rest from grieving)
Not lust, not appetite, not anything
That narrow press-lipped matrons warned against,
But only that you want me by your side.

I ask myself, how is it I have met,
Still nowhere near the sunset of my days,
(And if this be the sunset of my days,
I pray the sunset last for decades yet)
With that rare breed of love that poets would
Have you believe is something only glimpsed
But once in a millennium, if that.
The kind that is an ever fix'd mark
Yet does not mind when I am less than fixed,
Yet still is thrilled when I am fixed again.
That when I once had nowhere else to turn
(The sunset knows, not very long ago)
No one to care that I should live or die,
It, by so caring, unexpectedly,
Reminded me--this is what life feels like.
This is a home. And this a family.
And all these things are not exclusively
Reserved for other people. You as well
Shall pass through these before you pass the gates
Of utter west, and in the sunset rest.
(I pray that when I to that sunset pass
I find your path continues by my side.)

I ask myself, how much you asked yourself,
For I have not the heart to ask you plain,
(But, sunset knows, must hide it in a verse.)
How long, oh lord, how long did you endure?
You knew, I know, the windless desert air
Where sun is cruelty, and never sets,
And teaches but one lesson--Nobody
Ever will help you, ever will defend.
Did you despair as deeply as did I?
Was it as much impossibility
For you, when that intolerable sun
Proved one day to be setting, as for me?
(I prayed for sunset long before I knew
There was such thing as sunset.) If I traced
With disbelieving fingers all the scars
That cruelty and caution long since etched
Across your nerves, would I find them a match
For those that throb upon my hands and side?

I do not ask myself, if I deserve,
Who knows how near the sunset of my life
(And if this were the sunset, I would be
Content with such a sunset to my life)
To have you. It may be that I do not.
There's no 'deserve' to gentle rain, or sound
Of trees against the wind, or candlelight
In winter, or the distant salt sea smell.
What pedant hypocrite would think to ask
"Do you deserve the air?" I have the air.
I have the smell of sea. I have the flame
On winter nights. I have the sound of trees.
I have soft blessed rain. (And sunset knows
I have, all undeserving, the sunset.)
Whatever else you ask yourself, my love,
Ask not if you deserve me by your side.

I often ask myself, when others come
After has passed the sunset of our days
(Not even sunset knows who they shall be)
And we are gone, what archeology,
What mastery of lore, what history,
Could make them understand what you and I
Once built here, for eachother? What traces
Do such as you and I leave by the way—
No family name, no bloodline, no heirloom,
No genealogy, no monuments.
(I pray the sunset, one day to accept
Me of his bloodline, but that does not count.)
What kind of breadcrumb trail could lead the eyes
Of future ages, in the maze of life,
To find the chambers where I was with you?
A dog collar, too many worn-out shoes,
Some soda cans, some scraps of poetry.
If they can guess, from these, the kind of life
And home and family you were to me,
They're wiser far than any age before.
But then, I ask myself, what do I care?
I do not live for them.

                                   I live for you.
When you shall say that just to have me near
Would bring you rest from grieving, let me be
At once and without question by your side
From now until the sunset of my days.
And aye, beyond. (May sunset will it so.)

I Do Not Fear A Season Without Hope

I do not fear a season without hope:
Catastrophe upon catastrophe,
When love is every day a little bit
Made more a crime. When cruelty becomes
The only virtue men know how to praise.
When all but easy speeches are forbid
To comfort cruel men. I do not fear
The very nearing chance that any day
May be the day I go to meet my gods
And this, the only life I’ll ever have,
Comes to an end. And no more do I fear
The fear that any season without hope
Must needs be lived under and underneath.
Awake with fear, washing fear, dressing fear,
Breaking my fast with fear, reading of fear
And hearing of it every long, long hour
Before I go to bed with fear again.
I do not fear the man I must become
To survive any season without hope.
I have been him before. I lived long years
Before I ever learned the taste of hope.
Determination in despair is hell,
But still, a hell whose territory I know
By memory. I know how comfortable
I can myself make there: not very much,
But still, enough to last until the day
When I know how to walk the way back out.
But oh, I fear the shock of hope again
When does this season pass at weary last.
How fragile does determination grow,
How crusted, crystalized, and corroded,
When for a season soaks it in despair?
The lightest touch sufficeth then to break.
How can I tell, when hope returns at last
That all my bones and soul, long used to weight,
Will not with the too sudden lightening
Of burdens, shatter? Scatter into dust?
Thus do I fear a season without hope,
Lest by surviving I become unfit
To live, when hope is possible again.

Sunday, March 15, 2020

Ah Yes Pointing Out That Hypocrisy Exists How Original

“Man wants but little here below
Nor wants that little long.”
How often hath that platitude
Been strangled into song?
By men who do not want, but have
Their little and their more.
In rhymes perforce, in meter bad,
They serve it to the poor.

“Contentment in a humble home,”
They preach to homeless men,
“Is best.” Then purchase palaces,
As many as they can.

“Thy simple bread and wine is more,”
To those who starving wait,
“Delightsome than delicacies!”
As they refill their plate.

“Humility! Forgiveness!”
To the millions they have wronged.
And would not even notice if
The last of us were gone.

If man doth want so little
Then little it should be
For these mighty and strong to give
Our needs to you and me.
Man wants but little here below.
My wants are only one:
Take every scrap of doggerel.

Force them to eat each one.

Thursday, March 12, 2020

Curse on a Deserving Land

Dark clouds gather at the edge of the sky.
We have one last reckoning, you and I.
And you’ve never met me, you don’t know my name,
But you are my murderer just the same.
In the dust was my living. Unto dust I return.
And when have you shown the slightest concern?

You’ve declared everything your property
But there’s a god for the slave and he’s setting us free.
You’re comfortably accustomed to giving commands,
But winter don’t listen, and won’t stay his hand.
You’ve built out of money an eminent seat.
Now money’s the only thing you’ll have to eat.

Dance with me, honey, one last time
We’re already dead. So everything’s fine.
Dance in the dust till it all blows away.
A mighty wind’s coming, or so they say.

You name yourself safe from the world that you made
But there’s a god in the mountain and I think you’re afraid.
He’s thinking on vengeance and his mind’s going dark
Over field, over fen, over national park.
There’s fires’ll be burning, and no way to fight.
You sold the fire department yesterday night.

Dance with me, honey, one last time
We’re already dead. So everything’s fine.
Dance in the dust till it all blows away.
A mighty wind’s coming, one of these days.

You’ve said your piece a hundred times and one
But there’s a god overhead, of tempest and tongue.
He’s heard, who has not? how the truth you despise.
From such he shall take away even the lies.
A breeze stirs thinly, and the wind turns round
So that you may hear the terrible sound:
The voices of the living. Voices of the dead.
The hurricane howling for your guilty head.
You’ve lied your way out of troubles before
But the wind’s coming someday, of that I am sure.
Dark clouds shall sweep you out of the sky.
There’ll be nowhere to run, and nowhere to hide.
You’ll cry to the gods and they will speak not your name,
They’ll say “as you did to others, to us just the same.”
And what happens after, I shall not care.
My friend, that’s your problem. That’s none of my affair.

So dance with me honey, one last time.
We’re already dead. So everything’s fine.
Dance in the dust, just for today.
A mighty wind’s coming, to blow us away.

Tuesday, February 25, 2020

The Ballad of Terry Chaplet

Miss Chaplet wandered down the winding path of Memorial Park, lingering by each knot of conversation long enough to get the gist of the current story. If anyone had been watching, they’d maybe describe her as looking at each like camp like someone who’s spent the last three weeks crawling through a desert trying to choose between flavors of sherbet in an ice cream parlor.
But no one did. She was good at being an unremarked passerby in the background.
She drew up short when someone stepped into her path. The orc spell-smuggler grinned at her “Evenin’ Ma’am. Would you mind joinin’ us?”
“Hurucair, right?” she said, carefully not answering the question.
“That’s right, ma’am. We got a bit of a debate goin’ on, and I think we’d appreciate your input, there.” He holds up a flask of moonshine to sweeten the offer.

Mathael and Seth sat at a small campfire, within sight of the central plaza. Mathael looked up from the cider heating in a campfire percolator. "Miss Theodora, I take it? Good to finally meet you."
"He's got a bunch of rude and uncomfortable questions for you," Seth said, "won't blame you if you wanna head to Fiora or something."
"What sort of questions?" Theodora said, taking a seat.
"Well," Mathael said, "ones about your brother. That kind.”
"Neither of us ever met him," Hurucair chimed in, "but it weren't hard to see he was on Seth's mind when he was with both a' us, back in the day."
Theodora shot a glance at Seth. This is where she'd expect him to squawk an indignant objection, but he was just relaxing by the fire. The way she could just barely remember him being back when…
"Well," she said, "S'pose if anyone's got the right to it's yall." She accepted the tin cup of hot cider and generous serving of moonshine added to it. "But first I gotta know, how'd Seth wind up involved with you two? You both seem a lot more… serious than I'd expect from him."
"Well, lotta folks got more sides to 'em, you know." Mathael spoke carefully.
"S'alright, I don't mind tellin." Hurucair shrugged.

"Seth came'n sought me out few years ago. Said he was onto something big.
I said I'd heard that before. Heard it every other week from some desperate grifter. I were runnin a bookleggin crew from Pastecuala to Huntswood through Devil's Crack, and I didn't have no idea who some two-faced Aven was. I said I weren't interested. So he said, what if he could get spells the likes of which nobody'd never heard of. From places like ‘Two Larry-a’ and ‘M'Leetus.’ Would that be interestin? I figured he was just doubling down on the lie, but something in the back a’ my mind made me give him a chance.
In hindsight? Maybe the fact that there's a goddess livin' in the wires I was siphonin' spells outa, who maybe had some ideas about makin this plan of his happen, was that 'somethin.' Whatever it was made me such a famously and lovably bad judge of character, turned out Seth weren't lyin. He brought back spells that felt like nothin I'd ever heard of before: felt like gears fittin together, like skies fulla stars, like city streets made of lightnin.’ And gadsdangit did they ever work! Other crews was runnin themselves ragged to get ya just a little cantrip that’d maybe blast out a tree stump? If you’re real good? And he brings you somethin that clears a whole field--weeds, stumps, brush, stone--and no harder to cast. And suddenly I was the top booklegger in the country, and it was thanks to him, and he were easy enough on the eyes, and if I was trustin him with my business then why wouldn't I trust him with my bed?"

“That… sure is some kinda way to make that kinda decision.” Theodora said.
“Like I said,” Hurucair grinned, “I’m a famously and lovably bad judge a’ character. Weren’t the wrong decision, neither-”
"That's when he stole the blueprints and built that beacon thing?" Theodora cut him off quickly.
"Well," said Seth, "I had to meet Sturmkraw first."
"We were smugglers, not inventors," Hurucair interjected.
"But that's when I started lookin for the opportunity," Seth finished.
"All I ended up contributin was a few extra hands to set up the beacon, and then being a witness when they pulled that Cape God outa the clouds, whatsisname, Setrivore?"
"Setirov," Mathael and Seth corrected him, in unison. Hurucair shruged.
"So," Theodora pointed at Mathael, "that means he must have been with you before he was with him?"
Mathael nodded.

"It were in the cool quiet after a Godstorm. I always watched em, y’know.  I'd gone back inside after, so I didn’t see him arrive, and I remember thinkin when he knocked how I hadn’t seen nobody walkin up. Maybe things’d’ve gone different if I had seen him arrive, maybe not, though. I just remember him standin on the porch, soakin’ wet, glarin furiously at me like he were darin’ me to notice he’d been cryin. And he says, ‘you’re the fellow that used to say he was gonna revive the gods.’
I said I used to say a lot of things.
He said ‘That weren’t a question. You’re gonna teach me how to bring em back.’
I told him that was nonsense, and that he had best get back on the road and go back where he come from, there. He said he couldn’t do that, there weren’t no one left for him there. And I said that weren’t none of my affair.
I went back inside. When I went out to do chores the next mornin, he was still there, waitin. And I was maybe more callous then than I am now, but I weren’t that callous. So I said, “Look, I dunno what you expect me to teach you, but I aint lettin you starve or freeze, y’know. Gimme a hand with the chores here and there and then c’mon inside and have some breakfast.
He weren’t very good at the chores, but I could tell he’d least been to a farm before. And he ate like a starvin washbear.
Once he finally slowed down enough to talk, he said ‘So are you gonna teach me? I’ll do anything you want.’
‘What I want,’ I said, ‘is fer you to leave.’
‘Except that.’
I guess I would never’ve been much of a preacher if I didn’t have a weakness for stubborn determined types. Oh, he weren’t no better at learnin to be a preacher than he were at farm chores. Closest he could ever get to understandin the gods in the storms was usin that sorta wind magic he does to steer the storms just a little. But he wouldn’t take ‘you can’t’ fer an answer, there. And as long as he were still tryin, I couldn’t stop helpin.
Now, there were only one bed in the farmhouse. He’d been sleepin on a quilt on the floor by the stove, but he weren’t gettin up rested. I was having to make the coffee stronger and stronger every mornin, just to get him up an runnin. And what with winter comin on, it only made sense to share. He didn’t want there to any feelin’s in it--and now I heard of your brother, Miss, I think I can guess why--but that’s like tryin to keep dandelions outa a pasture. I’ll admit it’d been a while since I’d had anybody in my life either. Took me back to the days of hitchhiking, preachin a circuit, sharin a boardin house room for a single night, both of you tipsy on inspirin’ words, stayin up all night talkin because in the mornin you’ll be goin seperate ways so whatever you’re feelin you say it and you do it NOW.
Maybe catchin’ feelings is what made him finally realize, but come spring he said he were leaving. ‘Sorry. This ain’t gettin me no closer to where I need to be. Gotta try somethin’ else.’ And he just… burst, into wind, like the wave of cold air before a thunderstorm.”

“And I didn’t hear no more from him,” said Mathael, “till he brought a passel of well-meaning rogues from all sorts a other worlds right to my doorstep! Keepin in touch’s another thing he ain’t skilled at, y’know.”
“Oh,” Seth tilted his beak up and shut his eyes, “Here I thought you were the type who liked stayin up all night talkin--if that’s what you call it--cause in the mornin’ you’re goin seperate ways?”
“Didn’t hear you complainin’ none!” laughed Hurucair.
Theodora poured herself another cup of cider. “So he went from Mathael to Hurucair. How long ago was it, then, when he arrived at the farmhouse?”
“Musta been about three years, I’d say.”
Theodora looked at Seth. “So… not long after Terry died.”
Seth nodded through a deep breath. “Maybe, if you’re feelin ready, you oughta tell them about him?”
“Alright,” she said, “If you don’t feel like tellin it, suppose I can take a turn.”

“Me and Terry were born in Metropolis, for all my appearances of bein the archetype of a country lady. He weren’t old enough to remember our Ma and Pa. I was, but only barely. Cause when he was born, he was born already a werewolf, which is how my Ma found out she was --lifelong teetotaler--and that meant trouble with the law. That meant me and Terry, still a infant in arms, goin to live on our Aunt and Uncle’s farm on route 15 ‘tween Beemis and Last Wolf Hill. It was supposed to be only temporary till Ma and Pa got things sorted out, found out where they was goin, what they were doin. I figured they’d just come join us at the farm.
But we never heard from ‘em again.
Auntie Clara and Uncle Charley were good enough to us, and I don’t think Terry never minded. He’d never known anything else. But I minded. I used to climb out the window over my bed at night and sit on the roof, watchin the night trains go by, big lights on the face of whatever iron critter they had, mournful horn echoin from far across the plains, and I’d wonder if Ma or Pa was on that train. Or if I could catch it, how long it’d take me to wherever they was. That’s how it happened--one night I was just watchin a train go by and thinkin angry and I couldn’t feel the roof no more and next thing I knew I was nowhere at all and next thing I knew I was in the most colorful country I ever seen with all these little folks dancin and singing. Turns out it were called Lorwyn.
But that’s my story, that ain’t what I’m tellin. Terry were content enough livin on the farm. Had a talent for dealin with stubborn, opinionated sheep, which is mostly what we had. I’d come back from whatever world I was in and never once find him gotten into any trouble. Till Seth Sulimo blew into town.”

Every eye turned to Seth for an uncomfortable moment.

“He was a travellin singer in those days. Fly to some town, search up whoever could play decent on a banjo or fiddle, put together a show at a saloon for spare change. If’n you didn’t know about the bookleggin you wouldn’t have thought he could make a living doin it.
I don’t grudge him that. Lords know I don’t got no love for the Metro or their sheriffs. But I did grudge that he got Terry involved.
Terry weren’t no musician, but he’d travel with Seth as his “roadie,” and I know Terry liked the travel and I know he liked anybody who was willing to like him. Every time I was home, I’d tell him he didn’t need to be putting himself in danger, but he would say if I got to go have adventures than it were only fair if he did too, and I couldn’t argue with that.
How it actually happened I don’t know. Charitably--because I’m feelin more charitable these days than I used to--I’m gonna guess that Seth musta been off on his first Walk when the Sheriffs came for Terry. Dunno what they were doin, what law they were breakin, but it don’t hardly matter. Seth couldn’t get back--it’s hard, when you don’t know where you are or what you’re doin--and I didn’t know till after it was over with.
Am I guessin’ mostly right?”

“More or less,” Seth said, his voice hollow. “There was sherrifs coming down at us. I was up on the wire, listening. Terry was down below. The plan was I’d grab the spell, then blow up a gale to blow the sherrifs away and we’d scamper under the cover of the dust cloud. We’d done it a dozen times before. But the spell came down the wire and hit me in a way nothing ever had… and by the time I could figure out what’d happened I was in some desert, starin’ at a upside down mountain with a city built on top.”
“I doubt he fought. He woulda never hurt nobody. Woulda tried to surrender. Woulda been too trusting to know they wouldn’t let him. And I thought… we were supposed to have somebody on our side. Somebody who sees that happen, somebody who says it aint right. What’s the point of havin’ gods in the clouds if they stay in the clouds and never do anything?”
Noone spoke for a moment. Mathael and Hurucair each let a hand rest on Seth’s shoulder.
“You said,” Hurucair broke the silnce, “that he usedta be a singer?”
“Yeah,” Theodora said, “folk songs, ballads, classics like The Parting Glass or Shake It Out or The God of Passage.”
Mathael scratched his chin. “Don’t think I never heard him sing, myself.”
“Me neither,” said Hurucair.
“Well,” Seth plunked the last of the moonshine into his cup of cider and drained it in one gulp, “Maybe there’s a reason for that. Maybe I don’t got nothin to sing about.”
“Oh, I can think of one thing I bet you could sing about.” Theodora said. “You’re the only one ain’t told a version of their piece of the story.” She gestured around, at all the camps she’d wandered past. “From the sound of it, Terry were the startin’ point of all this! Don’t he deserve to have all these folk know who he was?”
Seth blinked at the Great Parliment. He considered a good while.
“All right, f’you insist. Someone find me a guitar player.”

One by one, the talk in the various knots around the various fires died down. The mournful song filled the empty space.

“The song it came on o’er the prairies one dawn,
In search of the voice that should have it.
It wanders the ways, on the wires it stays,
The ballad of poor Terry Chaplet.”

“The praries’ll tell you they see him no more.
The sheriffs’ll claim that they slew him.
The winds they’ll sigh, and its sighs they’ll roar,
Cause they cannot help but blow through him.
And the song it may blow to wherever songs so
To fields or to seas or to mountains.
And the winds may declare that they can’t find him there
But the song it’s got no time for doubting.”

“He took to the roads, or so the song goes,
He sought for to reach the horizon.
And some folk’ll swear they still see him out there
Wheresoever he’ll be most surprising.
And the song it it rolls on when the sunset is gone
You can sing it, if you can but grab it.
To carry the tune, over road, under moon,
The ballad of poor Terry Chaplet.”

“Does anyone know where us mere mortals go
When not even gods can keep steady?
And Terry wouldn’t say, for that weren’t his way,
But he set off before he was ready.
Well his sister were off on her venturesome ways.
His love was off lost in his lightning.
And a posse of sheriffs had somethin to say
With their sneers and their sidearms for fighting.”

“There Terry he fell. The song did as well.
Though the winds and the wires beseeched him.
Road back was too long. He was already gone
Before Sister or Lover could reach him.
But remember my friends that the song never ends
It outlives the fella who brings it.
And though I am gone it’s still carryin on
As long as there’s someone to sing it.”

“And of you and of me, well who knows where we’ll be,
And the world’ll have much to distract it.
They’ll forget me and you, but the one thing they’ll do
Is remember the name Terry Chaplet.”

Back by the fire, Seth relaxed again. “Well, I hoped you liked it, cause that’s all I got for now.”
“Wasn’t bad,” Hurucair said, “Though it makes me wonder what kinda song you’re gonna sing about me someday.”
“Thing it makes me wonder,” said Mathael “is what does happen to souls of those passed on? You said you saw him in North Metro, with Mistolin, and that don’t exactly fit with any story I ever heard, I got questions I wanna ask, when we get a chance.”
“Only thing I wonder,” said Theodora, “is why you didn’t put in nothin about what he looked like.” She blinked back at them. “What? You’re the one was lovin’ on him, f’you don’t feel like mentionin why, it just seems odd is all! It ain’t like it’s mysterious, now I met these two I can tell you’ve got a type!”
“I got a WHAT?” Seth cawed, indignant.
“A TYPE, plain as the beak on yer face--burly well-built well-meaning fellas that can boss you around when you need it!”
“This is the most preposterous thing anyone’s ever said about me, and there’s been more’n a few a those, mostly said by you, Miss Chaplet!”
“I ain’t never said nothing ‘bout you you din’t deserve!”
Hurucair leaned against Mathael’s side. The older lion man put his arm around the orc’s shoulder. They waited, by the fire, for the storm to blow over.

Sunday, July 21, 2019

The Holy Mountain of Vengeance

In the land of seven rivers, where the gates of death are builded,
Stands a mountain (I can see it on the days when clouds are lifted)
That is sacred to Odurum of the everlasting anger,
(Who sets the forest blazing with his everlasting anger,)
They say it vomits brimstone and its smoke blots out the sunrise,
Although nowadays it’s quiet, and it sleeps in pristine glaciers.
They say that he who climbs it may petition to Odurum
(Of the ever-tended anger, may his eye turn not upon us,)
And he who has not justice, there he may at least find vengeance
If the Lord of Endless Anger looks with empathy upon him.
For myself I could not tell you, I have never dared to climb it
Any further than the river that roars down from pristine glaciers,
Than the ever-raging river that roars through the misty forest,
Where the gates of death are builded, in the land of seven rivers.

When the sun shone on the glaciers, on the days when clouds were lifted,
Bright Ashamantaru looked (or so the tales say) on Odurum
As he walked his path of heaven every day. And in the evening
Came the mortal wanderer Coren to the foothills of the mountain.
To the ever-misted forest on the rough knees of the mountain,
Where he waited in the darkness for the howl of dawn to raise him
Once again into the heavens, with his face a blaze of glory,
Where again Ashamantaru treads his path across the heavens.
(Glory to Ashamantaru in the highest of the heavens)
There in the deepest midnight lifted only by the embers,
By the embers of his campfire, and the stars through cedar branches,
Did Odurum come to Coren, with the darkness to conceal him,
(And his eye burned in the darkness, like the deep heart of the mountain)
And he said “I know you watch me from the sky, Ashamantaru.
Do not bother to deny it. I have seen you silhouetted
On the peaks cumulonimbus, even whiter than my glaciers.
Do you think I fear the sunlight? That it will outshine my anger?
I am not the lord of darkness that your haloed head imagines,
And from my purposed vengeances you shall dissuade me never.”

“I am not Ashamantaru,” answered Coren in the firelight
In the feature-dulling firelight, where he might have been but shadows,
“He exists within the daylight he creates, and that creates him.
In the daylight I’ve not witnessed since I stumbled into godhead.
And I know no more than you do of the thoughts he may be thinking
When he looks upon your mountain, fast asleep beneath the glaciers,
For to be him is as waking from a dream that you remember
And remember only dimly,” Coren whispered to the embers.
“If you have any enmity with the sun, you must be patient,
And patience is a virtue I have always heard you cherish,
At least until the morning, when into him I will vanish.”
Coren palmed his knife and waited for the anger-god to smite him.

Odurum’s voice came softly from across the firelight fading,
Like hum of drunken hornets in the orchard in the autumn,
Like dull heat of the lanterns in the early nights of autumn,
“You are not Ashamantaru. He is not the hero Coren.
But the one does the wear the other as a mask and a persona,
And words that one is thinking by the other may be spoken.”
Said Odurum, “Many worshippers have pilgrimaged my mountain,
From the land of seven rivers, where the mortal lives are living,
And none there are who seek it, but their hearts do know the reason,
And often in the seeking do they lose all but the reason.”
Odurum sat him down beside the fire, and he was dreadful
(A hero less than Coren would have fled before his visage)
“So if Ashamantaru shares a heart with mortal Coren,
So if Ashamantaru’s longing eyes are on my mountain,
I do think Coren can answer, and can speak the heart-held reason
Why the god of Holy Sunlight would have words to say to Vengeance.”

There was silence in the midnight, in the dark below the cedars.
Where not a living creature dared to breathe. At last did Coren
Whisper “Barolan, my father. He has hounded me forever.
My blood-brother is slain, and all my clan is lost and vanished,
And still am I pursued. How many centuries of mourning
Have I laid against the morning, for the howl of dawn’s light breaking,
That does lift me into godhead is a dour recrimination.
I’ll not fight his futile grudges, nay nor will Ashamantaru.
I’ll not carry petty battles, not for all that he begat me.”
Between teeth clenched like stones within a fortress’s foundation,
“I think Ashamantaru, were he here, would speak of patience.
(And patience is a virtue, I have heard, that he does cherish,)
Enlightenment, serenity, and non-cooperation,
But I am mortal Coren. And we mortals have less options.
It may yet be that vengeance is the nearest thing to freedom
From the everlasting vexing of my morning-bearing father.”

Oh the laughter of Odurum, lord of Vengeance, it was dreadful,
(May its echo never reach us, may our ears learn not its timbre.)
And he laughed “My ancient enemy! You have yourself confounded
More surely than my everlasting anger could have asked for!”
He exulted in the firelight that lit his face like magma,
Like the pyroclastic death cloud that ariseth from the magma,
“Oh Barolan, behold the son you schemed and you betrayed for,
Behold the sun of heaven you yourself have turned against you,”
He gloated over Coren in the nearly perfect darkness,
“Does better like thy enemy! If only I had done this!
Then could I count my vengeances all full fulfilled against you!”
His dreadful smile was pitiless and pristine as the glaciers,
“Say on, mortal immortal! For nothing has so pleased me
Since first the Father’s music did awake me from my madness,
What vengeance you would have, you need but name and you will taste it!
So sweareth grim Odurum, by my eye of Endless Anger!”

They say something stirred in Coren, like the sunshine on the water,
(Like the sun that may be joyous, or may pitilessly swelter)
But here the tales fall silent. Not one can tell the answer
That Coren to Odurum gave beneath the cedar darkness.
(One can only see the mountain on the days when clouds are lifted,
And if the clouds are lifted they are lifted only briefly.)
If Barolan has heard them I would guess that he must wonder
What plots his mortal son immortal dared whisper against him,
What promises his enemy of vengeances vouchsafed him,
But that is but a guess. I do not know the lonely Sunrise.
I have not dared the mountain of the unforgiving glaciers,
Any further then the river roaring through the misted forest.
(I will not speak of what I saw within that roaring forest.)
And they say not even Coren knows what Bright Ashamantaru
(Oh, the brightness of his countenance on days when clouds are lifted,)
Thinks to himself when daily he makes journey cross the heavens,

Over land of seven rivers, where the gates of death are builded.

Wednesday, July 17, 2019

Meet Me In Westernmost

In Westernmost the trees grow tall
Above the roads as white as bone.
The winds that blow there smell of all
Lost lands that winds away have blown.
And there’s a table laid for me
With bread and cheese and sweetest wine.
And that’s a place where I’ll be free
To be with you and call you mine.
I’ll meet you there, though roads be long,
And paths alone, and ways be lost,
Just follow when you hear this song
In Westernmost.


In Westernmost the storms may blow,
The rain may fall, the sun may burn,
When I get there I’ll let you know.
But if they do at least they’ve learned
That there’s a climate meant for me
With nights as long as seven days
With moon so bright that you can see
The ways before you anyways.
I’ll wait you there and learn to trust
That you can find your way alone:
Your path leads there as all paths must
That lead you home,
To Westernmost.


In Westernmost they still have stars
They hang but inches overhead.
They catch them in a mason jar
Upon a table by the bed.
And there are drinks by firelight.
The very water tastes like wine.
And there is shelter long as night
May last, and it lasts for all time.
So lay your boots outside the door,
Your clothes upon the hearth to dry.
And in my arms forevermore
Come home to lie
In Westernmost.

Sunday, May 26, 2019

Song to Setirov

The fury of the sky is before me.
It comes like the shock of noon,
Slaying shadows.

The fury of the sky is before me.
It comes like a great wave,
Washing sweet the shore.

The fury of the sky is before me.
Like the heart of a one
Whose knows both death and life.

Who is the fury of the sky?
Whose is the breath of its song?
Whence comes the holy wind?

The rapture of the sky is above me.
Like the moment when I turn home
From a long journey.

The rapture of the sky is behind me.
It carries me onward
Like a leaf borne on the wings of a storm.

The rapture of the sky is around me
In life and in death.
Into it my soul shall pass singing.

Who knows the sky’s rapture?
Where can I hear his song?
When can I run with the holy wind?

Only you, Lord Setirov,
Lord of the breath of the earth,
Can teach me the song that follows you
Into the fury, the rapture, the holy wind of the sky.

On the Necessity of Genuflection

There was a mighty Ironwood
That stood on Windburn Hill.
Its thousand roots were like a snare
Of iron chain and dead man’s hair
That gripped to death the rocks. The air
Around its crown was still.

There was an ancient Ironwood
That stood and would not sing.
Its knotted limbs were strong and proud.
Its leaves were like a lifeless cloud
Whose white silence is far too loud
To hear the slightest thing.

There was a wicked Ironwood.
It scorned the other trees:
The maple in her scarlet sleep,
The oak in muscles covered deep,
The lindens who sweet secrets keep.
He snubbed them round his knees.

The Ironwood chuckled in his heart
And twisted-smiling said
“I am the lord of sky and sea!
A very god of growing tree!
Let Origyen bow to me,
That I may spare his head!”

The echoes rose from Windburn woods
Wound round with haughty words.
The flying winds were clear and cool.
The cold was innocent and cruel.
The blue was of a tidal pool.
And something heard, and stirred.

A little cloud was drifting,
Before the sun arose,
Up from the western border lakes,
From wind that sun and water makes.
But Ironwood no notice takes,
His eyes are lightly closed.

The cotton clouds were gathering,
Before the sun spoke noon,
Across the west horizon line,
Across the river’s turning brine,
Above the waters strong as wine
Where sounds the singing loon.

The mountain clouds were swelling.
The sun no more displayed.
The shadow washed up Windburn height.
The dust smelled frozen, and the light
Turned grey. The Ironwood flexed his might,
And he was not afraid.

The wind came up the lakeshore.
The wind came through the wood.
Its voice was like a tidal wave.
Its touch was chilly as the grave.
Its song was deep and sad and brave.
Its heart was only good.

The lindens bowed down hastily.
The maple stirred in dreams.
The oak wrestled and groaned, as does
One piling weight on weight because
He can. The Ironwood sniffed, “This buzz:
Some bumblebee, it seems.”

The wind whipped up, and Setirov
Was standing on its peak.
The clouds were torn chaotically.
The grass was tossing like the sea.
The whirlwind roared more rapidly
As its lord moved to speak.

“Hail, Ironwood,” said Setirov.
“From higher than you can see,
Above where skies have no more blue,
Where earth is almost lost to view,
Have I bowed down to speak with you.
Will you bow back to me?”

“The Ironwood,” it snorted back,
“Never, to none, will bow.
The gods, indeed, shall bow to me:
I am the world’s most perfect tree!
But chide me not, thou bumblebee,
Get gone your winding now!”

“To bow to friends in greeting
Is only courtesy,”
Said Setirov. The wind increased.
“Even the lowest crawling beast
Will nod when met. Do that at least
And I will let you be.”

“What mean the threats of peevish bees
To one as great as I?”
The Ironwood scoffed. “My wood is hard.
My secret thoughts I keep and guard.
No wind my limbs has ever marred.
You are welcome to try!”

“The Old Thin One,” growled Setirov,
And not a breeze dared stir,
“In ages past did boast thusly,
And steel, not iron, was his body.
So. If you will not bow with me,
Then you will dance with Her.”

And if the Ironwood made reply
It was lost in the shriek
Of wind released in all its wrath,
Of funnel cloud’s destructive path,
Of Setirov’s most dreadful laugh
On the tornado’s peak.

And if the tree repented then
It was too late. The sound,
The flash of arrow taking wing.
The thunderous hum of taut bowstring.
The light of holy lightening:
He fell, split, to the ground.

Now ironwoods on Windburn Hill
Do not grow half so high
As oaks with shoulders broad and deep,
As lindens keeping bees like sheep,
As maples who in autumn sleep
Send praises to the sky.

Now on the heights of thunderheads,
Where loud winds cry and crowd,
Setirov is the Lord of Storm,
And Kataranya’s Heart is Warm.
So when you see a storm take form
Be wise, and not too proud.