He swears to the others that he'll stop being so damn cryptic once the world starts swimming a bit, to which he laughs uproariously.
Once sufficiently in his cups, he dramatically sweeps his arm as though tossing back a cape, even though by this point they're all sitting down and he's set his mantle aside.
"Our tale begins, if you can believe it, with one Liliana Vess. The proper story begins some time before that, but not our tale tonight.
"Once upon a time, she had a pretty Veil. A powerful one, too, wrought from links so fine it looked like silk, each one a powerful relic on its own, and each housing precisely one Onakke spirit.
"Where is this Veil now, you ask? Who can say? Certainly no one I've asked. And ask I have, as I have been directed to by perhaps the one Onakke soul not currently within the spiritual web of the Veil.
"For that is how I enter this tale. The Veil had long since been plundered from my dear home of Shandalar, and thus the magics that might have kept the Onakke Tombs secret from most now kept it secret to none. And I, an ambitious and DASHING young dragon of the Mandurang clan, versed in the ancient ways of the Mind Stealer, ventured inside in search of knowledge, and power.
"And how fortunate for the little bronze link I plucked from an unassuming coffer, that I was not some simple sorcerer, or pious knight of white or black, or wise shaman of merfolk, troll, or centaur. For they would not have been so susceptible to having their mind opened, in ways I had long practiced. But never once against my own will, until that day.
"Perhaps it was because he willed it, or perhaps it was an instinctual attempt on my part to escape him. But that is when I Sparked. And my new life, and quest, began.
"I seek the ancient engines used by the Onakke to craft the links of the Chain Veil. I do so with apparent free agency, for to let on otherwise would possibly jeopardize his plan. Lacking any other Onakke spirits to inhabit a NEW artifact, I instead must use my skills inscribing the few links I have with as many powerful and varied spells as I can find, and to find the engines to create more before my supply runs out.
"If and once I craft this new Onakke artifact, I will once again be a free man. Or so I'm told. But should I fail, or betray him, or even knock him loose by accident...I will not die. But my mind will be gone. I can think of no oblivion more terrifying.
"One might say I had it coming. What else would one say of a 'mind stealer' having his mind stolen?" Taoshan spares a not-insignificant look to Tarjuk. "But how would they know?
"I have been trained by my elders to mediate and inquire. To exonerate the innocent, and condemn the guilty. To obtain knowledge that should be free to all when it is hoarded by the few. To help those who come to me to reach accord and understanding. To salvage cogent thoughts from the ill and injured when their minds fail them.
"I will not lie. I have made my artisan's tools into crude, blunt instruments in the hopes of saving my own mind on some far-off day from bondage. I assume I'll pay for it some day thereafter. But at least when that time comes...I will pay what I owe with no strings guiding my hand.
"...But WAIT! You say, you have laid all bare! Surely he will retaliate, now you've unravelled the curtain your oppressor has woven to keep himself hidden! Ah, but my good people, all I have done is cut away the tatters! Where even JACE 'OH-WHAT-AN-IMPORTANT-HOOD-I'VE-GOT' BELEREN either took no notice, or perhaps just took no CARE, you all not only SAW the curtain, you tore it to shreds!"
He nearly loses his balance, as at this point he's standing on his chair, but the rest of the party carefully helps him down. He laughs and slaps his knee in a manner far too goofy to be anything other than genuine.
"He could not take control, now! He could not dissuade me! To do so would only PROVE to you all that he was there, but with no context! He could not keep my cup from my lips, despite inebriation turning his voice in my head into a muted buzz!
"To do so would invite the wrath of the most capable and sympathetic planeswalkers we've met since he took up residence and withholds due rent! You'd all see in an instant that I was not myself, as he has NEVER been able to speak like a normal person!
"Why, you all might be so determined to free me of him, you'd disbelieve him if he tried to tell you removing him would annihilate me! HA, you might even assume I'd consider it worth the price!"
He takes a long drink of his tankard and finishes it off before plunking it down and wiping his chin. "Seriously though, please don't try to pop this tick yet, I really dun'wanna die." He blinks and furrows his brow. "Dangit. Slurred speech. Didn'tend t'get that drunk yet..."
